Attachment

 The root of suffering is attachment. You have created a space in your mind that holds a person or object as part of you. When that person or object is criticized, neglected or not with you, you feel pain in your mind and you experience a sense of loss. If you want to be happy, you must learn to love and appreciate while remaining independent.

The Present Moment

You've had a huge argument with a friend and you keep going over it in your mind but the more you think about it the worse you feel. By repeatedly going over feelings of unhappiness or anger in our minds which stem from incidents which have passed, we are hurting nobody but ourselves. Something might have happened to someone when they were six years old and, when they remember, the feeling comes back. Even if in the present moment those problems are not there, the feeling is the same. It creates peacelessness in the mind. The mind is not able to understand what is happening in the present. So, if you find yourself becoming angry and negative about past incidents, try to let go by bringing your attention back to the present moment. Life is short, so why spend any of it focusing on things which have made you unhappy?

The Law of Expectation

In our relationships with others, it is good to want the best: "I hope you do very well, I am sending you my positive energy and this is my way of encouraging you and giving you courage. However, if you don't achieve what I think you are capable of, I will not feel frustrated. I will not be dependent on you satisfying my expectations, but I will always want the best for you." 

If you have faith and confidence that something will happen, it is a prophecy that must come true. The expectations we have of someone, whether negative or positive, do have an effect on the person we are relating to.

Many investigations into this question confirm the influence that the expectations of educators have, both in the performance and in the behaviour of their students. Everything points to the conclusion that the teacher's expectations form one of the most influential factors in the academic performance of their students. If a teacher expects good results from their students, their performance will be much closer to their real capacity than if their teacher is expecting poor results.

Regards

Ankush D Shilimkar